Deven Seetanah, 24/7 Health Support Team, AXA Health

7 Steps to deal with loneliness


14 June 2023

Loneliness is an issue that can affect the physical and mental wellbeing of people of all ages. While addressing your experience of loneliness may take time, taking steps to build new and improve existing connections will help to improve your health and overall wellbeing.

What is loneliness?

The terms 'loneliness' and 'social isolation' are often used interchangeably but are distinct concepts. People can be socially isolated without feeling lonely or feel emotionally lonely even though they are surrounded by people daily.

Social isolation is an objective state that refers to the number of social contacts or interactions you have. Loneliness is more of an emotional state. While it is not in itself a mental health problem, the two are explicitly linked, with loneliness often the result of poor mental health or vice versa.

Background to loneliness

In 2022, 49% of adults (25.99 million people) in the UK reported feeling lonely occasionally, sometimes, often or always, and 7.1% of people (3.83 million) experienced chronic loneliness.1

It is sometimes assumed that loneliness only affects older generations, yet AXA’s 2023 Mind Health study2 shows that 59% of respondents aged between 18 and 24 are more likely to experience loneliness with negative effects on wellbeing compared to 22% of those aged 65+.

You can find more information by reading the 2023 AXA Mind Health Study

How to cope with loneliness

If you feel lonely, following the tips below will help you get started and move in the right direction:

1. Making new connections is arguably the most obvious way to combat loneliness, but it can really help. Joining a group or class you are interested in will increase your chances of meeting like-minded people to make friends with. For example, joining an exercise club is a great way to socialise and can give your mental health a boost. Increasingly too we are turning to the internet for companionship, with community groups existing in almost every niche interest group you could imagine.

2. Be more open. If you have a fairly big social circle but don't feel truly close to any of them, the underlying issue may be that you need to open up more. Letting your friend or acquaintance in on your vulnerability or honest opinion can help to deepen your connection with them.

3. Stop comparing yourself with others. The desire to ‘keep up with the Joneses' is not a new one, however the rise of social media has exacerbated the problem by giving people the chance to constantly compare themselves with their peers. If you’re already feeling lonely, the idea that everyone else’s life is more idyllic than yours can make you feel even more isolated and alone. This can lead us to ‘compare and despair’ – which only exacerbates our negative experiences. Remind yourself that people only share what they want others to see about their lives. Don’t form unrealistic expectations about life and friendships based on what you see online.

4. Keep all lines of communication open. Having a chat with a friend or relative over the phone can be the next best thing to being with them. Or you can stay connected with loved ones online. Talk on a video call, exchange photos and keep up to date with the latest news from friends and family on social media or by email.

5. Helping others is also a popular route to meet people, improve your mental health and do good for wider society. You'll not only give something back to your community, but it will also help you to feel more connected, involved and needed. There are lots of volunteering roles that need your skills and experience.

6. Pride comes before a fall. Don’t be afraid to reach out to people and ask for help, companionship or just a chat. They may be feeling lonely too!

7. Take it slow. If you've felt lonely for a while, or experience anxiety around new social situations, throwing yourself in at the deep end could exacerbate the problem. Instead, dip your toes into the water first by going to a local café or sports event where you are surrounded by people, and just enjoy sharing their company. Or try a class where you can dive into the activity itself to distract you from the pressure of introducing yourself to people straight away. With loneliness, slow and steady often wins the race.

Further Reading

What is resilience and why is it important - AXA Health

The benefits of group exercise - AXA Health

Get help with loneliness - NHS


 1: Facts and Statistics about Loneliness – Campaign to End Loneliness  

2: 2023 AXA Mind Health Study – AXA  

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