How can you build your resilience?
Resilience isn’t a trait that you either have or don’t have. Like any skill, resilience can be developed, it just takes some practice, so if you aren't as resilient as you'd like to be, you can build on your existing skills to become more so. There are some simple things you can do that can make a big difference, for example, moderate exercise, maintaining a healthy diet, and getting plenty of good quality sleep and some ‘me time’ are great things to start with.
With this in mind, here are five ways to help you not only survive, but thrive, in work, rest and play.
1. Improve your energy
A physically or mentally demanding lifestyle can leave you feeling drained, especially if you don’t balance this out by getting enough good quality sleep. This, in turn, affects how resilient you may feel. To help you reduce sleep disturbance and feel more alert, try:
- Reducing caffeine intake, particularly in the afternoon.
- Exercising regularly, drinking plenty of water and eating healthily.
- Managing boundaries between work and home and finding ways to switch off.
- Taking regular breaks at work.
You'll find more sleep tips in our article on how to get a better night's sleep, or take a look at our article for more ways to fight fatigue and boost your energy.
2. Create meaningful relationships
Loneliness can take a real toll on both your mental and physical health1. Having meaningful relationships through a support network of family, friends, colleagues and other social groups helps us feel connected and valued. This is important when you’re facing tricky situations because you know where to find support, advice and comfort.
- Supporting and comforting others can nurture and strengthen our relationships and enable us to learn from each other.
- Who is your support network and what types of support they offer? If you’re not getting the types of support you need, consider where this could come from.
3. Try to get some perspective
When your attitude towards something is balanced and rational it can support your resilience as it helps to have a clear view of reality and see the bigger picture. Stepping away (emotionally, mentally and physically) from a challenging situation can help you think about different ways of viewing it. Allowing yourself some time to reflect can give you clarity of thought and help with problem solving. It can help you to:
- Focus on the things you can control and change, rather than those you can’t.
- Challenge negative beliefs and focus on positive ones.
- Reflect on your successes – take time to acknowledge and celebrate what you’ve done well.
- Recognise that it’s the way you view a situation, rather than the situation itself, that is making you feel sad/anxious/afraid.
Our article How to have a positive mindset has more on this.
4. Think about your priorities
Having a clear sense of purpose based on your values and strengths is vital to developing and maintaining a positive outlook. This includes understanding what matters to you most – from what makes you tick, to how you spend your time and who you want to spend it with. It’s important to take time for yourself in order to relax and think about your goals in life. Consider things like:
- What’s your purpose both inside and outside work?
- What’s most important to you?
- What changes can you make to give you more time to focus on what matters most to you at work / at home?
- What are your strengths – how can you use more of these at work or home?
5. Work on your emotional intelligence
What is emotional intelligence? In short, it is being able to identify and manage your own emotions, as well as identify other people’s emotions. This can help you to see things objectively and respect others’ views. Emotional intelligence comes when you are able to feel it (an emotion), name it (anger, love, jealousy), and then express it to others.
This can help when you feel threatened or when you have a disagreement with someone. Our interpersonal skills also help us connect emotionally with others, developing closer relationships and a shared understanding. To help you become more aware of your emotions you can try techniques such as mindfulness.
An important aspect of building resilience is learning to ask for help when you need it. Don’t be ashamed or afraid to admit that you need the help of friends and family from time to time – asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It’s also important to look at what you’ve achieved in your life, rather than focus on the negative things, think about what you have the power to change in your current circumstances and prioritise these things.
If you’d like to find out more, our resilience centre has lots of information as well as tools and tips to help you become more resilient.
For more information about stress, anxiety or depression, visit our mental health hub where you’ll find articles, NHS factsheets and other useful resources